FRAFRA MARRIAGE

                                                                      by Stephen Atalebe

The Frafra marriage is unique among many cultures. Marriage in the Frafra society involves the union of two families rather than two individuals. The family of the man has to convince those of the woman that they are capable of taking care of their daughter. The test involves the boy’s family taking a number of smoked guinea fowls, kola, tobacco and drinks to the girl’s house for a number of times before the girl’s family agrees to start formal proceedings.

In times past, it was possible for a girl to marry a man she hardly knows. Usually at the market or during festivals, funerals or when men go to farm in a different village, the man and his friends will plot and lure the girl to the outskirts of the market and then carry her to their village. Sometimes, the girl will resist, other times she will silently concede especially if she is interested. Even if she is not interested, it doesn’t matter, she will still be carried away to the boy’s house.

Once in the man’s house, the man and his friends will organise all sorts of entertainment to keep her entertained so that she does not think about her father’s house. People in the village will troupe to the man’s house to catch a glimpse of her and know her. The girl is not allowed to go anywhere alone. Even if she is going to free herself, someone follows her. Many girls have escaped back to their father’s house, so she is often closely monitored.

The next day, the family head will send someone to the girl’s father’s house to inform them that they have their daughter. In this first visit, the man’s family will take along three smoked guinea fowls; buy the locally brewed gin, a couple of kola nuts, and some tobacco. Sometimes, the girl’s parents will reject this on the first visit, other times, they will accept the items but they will not tell the visitors any better thing. Usually, they are told to go and come back another time because the elder of the house has travelled even if the elder is among them. This is always the beginning of the test.

However, the newly married man is now encouraged to work hard and get her pregnant. This is often advocated if the girl or her parents are showing signs of refusing to continue with the marriage. In the Frafra culture, it was often not accepted to have a sister giving birth at home except those sanctioned to do so, so once she is pregnant, she will definitely have to stay. Moreover, it was thought that once the man sleeps with her, she will become more emotionally attached to him and will not be willing to leave.

The next visit to the girl’s parents’ house will still not produce any better outcome. In some cases, the man’s family will be made to visit the girl’s house for more than 3 to 4 times before they now accept them and ask them to begin formal arrangements. Indeed, among the Nabdams and the Talensi, the man’s family might visit the girl’s house for more than 7 to 8 times before they accept to begin formal arrangements. This can be so costly because every visit, you carry along the same things, 3 guinea fowls, kola nuts, local gin and tobacco.

When the girl’s family finally agrees to start the marriage rites, the man’s family will now invite them to come to their house and “drink water.”  The girl’s family will send young men with a few old people to accompany them to the man’s house. When they come, and they do so late in the night, the man’s family is supposed to kill a dog, two goats and a number of fowls. This meat is not eaten in the man’s house but is taken back to the girl’s father’s house. This process is called “hand running.”

In a few days later, the man’s family will then send an old man along with a big cock and kola to the girl’s family. This process is very important because without it any child born to them will belong to the girl’s family.  So this is a crucial step. For some families, again especially those in the Talensi and the Nabdam areas, this process is skipped at this stage and made to come last because once the man’s family does this process, they can decide to delay paying the cows.

The next step is the payment of 4 cows. This could be paid in instalments or all at once. This also goes with a batakari cloth to the girl’s father. In modern times, the 4 cows are now reduced to mostly 2 or 3 but this depends on the girl’s family. Some families will press for the 4 cows while others will not. If you refuse to pay your wife’s cows, her family will wait patiently till she gives birth to a girl and once the girl is married, her bride pride is used to pay for her mother’s unfulfilled bride price.

Once the man and woman are formally married, the man will sometimes have to go with some of his friends to the girl’s house to farm for them and will have to contribute immensely if any of her relatives are dead.

In modern days, the issue of paying 4 cows has come under heavy attack and some parents recognising the economic hardships do not press their in-laws for the cows but rather urge the man to use that and take good care of their daughter. The payment of the cows has been a reason why some men and women in the area cannot marry. It also explains why most foreigners are not always willing to marry Frafra women and the reason why most Frafra men marry women outside the tribe in order to avoid all these.

THE AGONY OF A FRAFRA WOMAN

Women traders at Bolga Market

“When our father died, his land was shared among my brothers but none given to me even though I had children to fend for. But I was not perturbed. What I asked from my brothers was just a piece of land to build a house to house my children and this was granted. After that, I followed some farmers, who, like me, were not given land. Most of them were the children of unmarried women, what they called Tahbia, meaning sister’s child.  With these people, I followed them into the forest with my children and we got land there where we planted and took good care of the plants and had a bumper harvest. I harvested almost ten bags of the early millet, twenty bags of the guinea corn, fifteen bags of the late millet, twenty-five bags of groundnuts, five bags of beans, three bags of bambara beans, ten baskets of pepper and so many things.

            “The next year, I got almost double what I had the previous year and this made some of the men in the forest jealous and some of them began saying I was a witch. I did not take them so serious and just laughed it off. Naturally, when you are accused of being a witch, the accusation includes among others, all the people related to you through the mother’s line, your brothers and sisters, your mother’s brothers and sisters, and all their children. But I ignored it, I never told my brothers of the accusation which I now regret so much.

            “I was very happy when Atandoo, my first born, married a young nice girl from Zuarungu-Moshie. As soon as the girl was brought into the house, the peace and happiness that we enjoyed as a family was destroyed. When she came, Atandoo began fighting with his junior brothers.  “After five years, she will not conceive and it was then that Atandoo became worried and started consulting soothsayers, herbalists and sorcerers, but that never worked. I told him to forget about the woman and marry another one, but he refused. Immediately his wife heard my suggestion, she went home to Zuarungu-Moshie where her mother poisoned her mind. Her mother told her that I was a witch. According to her, the farmers had accused me of being a witch and I never reacted which suggested that I was guilty. Her mother then told her that I had tied her womb so that she could not give birth.

A woman taking care of goats

            “Armed with this information, she returned the next day and I don’t know what conspired between her and Atandoo, because on the next day, I was in my room when I heard Atandoo call me by my real name, the first time I have heard him do. So I came out and was surprised to see him holding an axe and calling me a witch. He threatened to kill me if I didn’t confess to the tying of his wife’s womb!

            “This attracted a large crowd of people to my house and the chief called us to his palace where my son came out and testified against me, in the full glare of the public, in the full glare of everyone. My son, the one whom with my two hands I have suffered to bring up, the one I carried in my womb for nine months, the one I backed on my back for more than three years. The purpose for which I tilled the land under the scorching sun, day by day, from season to season, from infancy to adulthood, was now turning back on me, disgracing me in the full glare of the whole village! I was too shocked by the turn of events to utter any words in defense.

            “He told them he knew even as a young boy that I was a witch and that the farmers then used to call me a witch. He said a whole lot of disturbing things, revealing to everyone how I suffered to bring him up, but also making a fool of himself by declaring that I was doing all that so that I can bewitch his wife.

            “He also accused me for the deaths of so many people in the village and at some point, the people wanted to stone me to death but the chief pleaded on my behalf and asked me to leave the village.

            “I left the village that day with the people hooting at me, but my small girl, Nmalebna, oh Nmalebna, how can I forget her, she followed me and also took the insults and spats that they hurled at me. She followed me and we walked for a long distance aimlessly, crying and getting acquainted with the idea that what we were experiencing was indeed a reality! None of my other sons came in to support me, they all seemed to agree with Atandoo. Nmalebna wanted us to go to any of my sisters, but I told her that it was not advisable. I told her that I wanted a place out of community. I wanted to be alone. Here was my son, who has been with me in all his life accusing me of being a witch, what would others not do, so she understood me and we walked for a very long time until we came here. She helped me build these huts and when I finally secured a place to live in, I advised her to go back to the village. She went back to the village and has consistently been visiting me when the new moon comes out. Yesterday I saw the moon and after making the customary statement, Tonki Lonki, You will die and come back and I am still alive, I could also feel my daughter doing the same thing and thinking of coming to visit me the next day.”

            She paused and spat saliva against the wall.

            “When I think about what wrong I did to my son, I begin to realise that it is not his fault at all. It was because of his wife. I have always been telling my children while they were still very young that they should never allow their wives to divide them. I had always told them to stand together in all times, and had warned them never to take their wives’ complains about the other brothers seriously without consulting them and told them that blood was after all thicker than water, but Atandoo had allowed what I had always been afraid to happen even in my face and against me. That was the most serious part of it and even though, I must admit that I enjoy living here, I can never forgive Atandoo for what he has done to me. For the others Ayine, Akolgo, Abugre, Akela, Agonga and others, I could forgive them for there was nothing that they could do, but for Atandoo, I just can’t forget it and cannot forgive him, but you see, as a mother, I must refrain from cursing him, for that can follow him, but I just can’t forgive him,” she stopped and began wiping the tears that flowed as a result. She spat thick phlegm of saliva against the wall.

            “My first son, my first day, when I finally saw and knew what the pestle was meant to be, the pestle of Abunwooko, it was indeed a pestle and it was from that pains that I produced Atandoo and from that pain comes more pains and sorrows. You see, I initially subscribed to the view that to have children means to be insured when you grow old. Well, I still believe in it, but that view has been altered. It has been altered because my first son behaved in a way that disproved the view, but my daughter, oh Naba Ayine, she has made me proud that I gave birth to her. It was because of her that I had given more births and when she came, I decided not to give birth anymore and I have seen that had I not given birth to her, I would have been like an island, standing on its own without any affiliation to any relation.

Women selling rice and millet at Bolga Market

            “I have been in the forest for more than seven years, not even once, did any of my other sons stepped foot here to see how I am faring. It has always been Nmalebna. The day she sees the moon, the next day, she is on the way here with food and other things, but you see, at some point, I had even harvested enough food here from the farm that I sent some home to the children. In the next month, Nmalebna returned crying and carrying the food I had given her the previous month here. She told me that my sons had refused to take the food and asked her to send it back to me. I took the food in good spirit and wept without end. I wept not because they have refused my food but because they have condemned me and diminished me to nothing. If I were a witch, could I have raised them to that age without killing them or harming them and rather waited till they are now grown to destroy them? What manner of a human being will destroy what she has suffered to build? If I were a witch, by implication they too were wizards, but they never seem to realise that. They never saw that the woman was casting a slur on them, on our family and instead of sticking to family, they took to the words of a total stranger who was by implication accusing them of being wizards too.  You see why I told them not to allow a woman to destroy the bond of brotherhood, of blood for the bond of emotions?”

She spat hot thick saliva against the wall.

This text is taken from the Sins of the fathers by Stephen Atalebe; Chapter  31

More images from the Frafra land

FRAFRA PEOPLE

 History

Frafra peoples belong to a larger subset of peoples in the area of southern Burkina Faso and northern Ghana collectively known as Gurunsi peoples. This term is applied to these peoples, who share common histories, languages, and political structures, but it may also carry pejorative overtones in local usage. Most of Gurunsi live in modern day Burkina Faso, and the degree to which Frafra history differs from their northerly neighbors, such as the Nuna, Bwa, and Winiama, is linked to their living in modern day Ghana. These differences arose during colonial times, which began in the early part of the 20th century, as French and British colonial systems differed in their administrative practices.

 Economy

Frafra are primarily sedentary farmers, growing millet, sorghum, and yams. Maize, rice, peanuts, and beans are grown in addition to these staples. Farmers throughout the region practice slash and burn farming, using fields for approximately seven or eight years before they are allowed to lie fallow for at least a decade. In the family fields close to the villages, women grow cash crops, including sesame and tobacco, which are sold in local markets. Men participate in hunting during the long dry season. This is important for ritual reasons, since it is during this time that men may interact with the spirits that inhabit the bush. During the dry season, when food supplies are running low, some fishing is practiced in local swamps.

Political System

Frafra societies are comprised mainly of farmers, without social or political stratification. They are not divided among occupational castes or groups since most of them simply till the land and engage in occasional hunting. They had no internal system of chiefs, and all important decisions were made by a council of elders consisting of the oldest members of each of the village lineages. Religious leaders do maintain some political authority, determining the agricultural cycle and parceling out land for cultivation.

                            

Religion

Belief in a supreme creator being is central to Frafra beliefs. A shrine to this god occupies the center of every village. Each extended family maintains its own hut, in which the lineage magical objects are kept. The objects allow the family to maintain contact with the vital forces of nature. These objects are inherited by the ancestors and are the communal property of the lineage, providing protection and social cohesion among all members of the family.

Arts

The most recognized of the Frafra art forms are cast brass jewellery and beautifully decorated architecture. In addition anthropomorphic figures sculpted from clay and wood and various personal objects, ranging from jewellery to wooden stools, are created to honour the spirits.

This article was taken from the University of Iowa website